The Capture of Snake-Eyed Sue

by David Washburn

Sheriff Max Steele stepped out into the dark, dusty street. Looking at The Wild Horse Saloon, he fixed his eyes on the light shining from the door. “Shame to have to ruin such a peaceful day, but a man has to do his job.”

His well-worn buckskins brushed loudly in the silent night as he ambled slowly towards the Saloon. He wore a six-shooter that was also well worn after many years of use. It was a .44 Schofield, identical to the one Wyatt Earp used. He was proud of his gun. It was his best friend and he took great care to make sure that when he needed it, it was ready for him.

Max was a strong man in the prime of his life. He had been sheriff in Deadwood for many years and had caught his fair share of criminals. He was not getting rich, but the people of Deadwood respected him and the criminals feared him. That combination made his job a lot easier.

Stepping up to the saloon’s swinging doors; he looked into the lighted room full of people. He tipped his black cowboy hat back a bit to get a good view of everything and everyone. His hand went to his gun making sure it was loose enough to come out easily if needed. He knew he was the faster gun, but he hoped he would not have to prove it.

Pushing the doors wide, he stood still for a moment as people looked at him expectantly. His eyes scanned the room as everyone quickly became silent. They knew why he was there. Following the glances of a couple of the men, he found a table near the back corner where Snake-Eyed Sue sat with her friends.

She watched him as he cautiously strolled toward her. She was not happy. “What are you doing here?”

The sheriff looked deep into her green eyes and smiled. “Your murdering days are over Sue.”

She looked puzzled as if he was talking crazy, but he was not fooled by her innocent act. “You robbed the First National Bank last week and killed the teller. Before that, you robbed half a dozen other banks and killed three other people. Now missy, you’re going to pay for your crimes.”

“Just leave me alone, Max. I don’t want to play your game.”

Reaching out he grabbed Snake-Eyed Sue’s arm and pulled her from the table. He kept an eye on her doll-faced friends, making sure they did not try anything. They just sat there dumbfounded, too scared to move. Sue tried to wiggle free, but he had a good grip on her.

“Let go of me!” she wailed.

He dragged her out of the saloon and back to his jailhouse. He quickly put her behind bars and locked the door. “I guess that didn’t go too bad after all.”

Sue began yelling at the top of her voice and now she sounded a bit more desperate. She knew her luck had finally run out. “Mom! Mom, help! Max won’t let me loose!”

He had his prisoner, and he was going to sit on her until the judge got into town. Sue’s mom was not going to stop justice from hanging Sue for the murders she had committed.

The door to the jailhouse flung open, and Sue’s mother stepped in. Sheriff Steele could see the fire in her eyes when she saw her only daughter in his jail. He knew she was tough and even meaner than Snake-Eyed Sue. He was not sure how this would come out but justice decreed that he do his best to keep his prisoner.

“She’s my prisoner and you can’t have her. She robbed the bank and killed the teller.”

Sue’s mother rolled her eyes. “Max, get off my clothes basket and let your sister out of there.”

Max reluctantly stood up and his little sister crawled out. “But you said I should play with her more.”

Mom helped Sue up as she explained, “You have to play something you both agree on together. Find out what Sue wants to play, than you both play the same game. You can’t be a sheriff arresting your sister when she wants to have tea with her dollies.”

Sue volunteered, “We could play house together. I can be the mommy and you can be the daddy.”

Max sighed. “I guess so.”

Mom smiled. “Good, now you two play house nicely while I wash the dishes.”

As mom left, Sue smiled at her big brother. “I’ll make dinner and you’re daddy coming home from work.”

Sheriff Steele opened the door to his house and stepped in. Usually he would hang up his gun on the hook when he entered but not tonight. He had just heard that his wife Sue had not been going to her mother’s on weekends but had really been out robbing banks.

Sue smiled happily at him when she saw him come home. “Hello dear. I just made a pot roast for dinner. Sit down and eat.”

The sheriff looked deep into her green eyes and smiled.

3 Responses to “The Capture of Snake-Eyed Sue”

  1. Helice says:

    Finally a story on here that is funny! I loved it! Though it is a bit sinister… Good job!

  2. I like the twist–and the ending is priceless.

  3. Gary Humfleet says:

    This story is seriously cute. I enjoyed it immensely. If there is any fault at all, the revelation might have been held for a little later in the story and the suspense maintained a while. A very amusing tale.

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